I'm starting something new..I'm going to start writing every day or at least every chance I get and explain what I'm thankful for.
Today is Sunday, March 22nd 2015
Location: Saint Vincent's Westport Campus Westport, ct
Time: 4:45pm
I'm Thankful for my boyfriend. He packed my dinner and it smells wonderful
I'm Thankful for my Job, I'm lucky to still be doing something that despite it's challenges; I still like doing my job. I sometimes get these twitches in my brain when someone tells me how there feeling and shares there story with me.
I'm thankful that I can do something to help my patients.
I'm thankful that I still have all my limbs and eyes and I can hear and breath.
I'm thankful that I can look forward to my days offs and that I can find things to take pleasure in.
that's it for today..
see you tomorrow.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Saturday, March 7, 2015
New Beginings .....Again
So I decided to start writing again. I may erase my previous blogs cause I feel as if there filled with so much anger and self-loathing. In every pasted blog I've written has nothing but statements about me being unhappy with myself and my situations; me being broke, regretting past mistakes and actions, and Tony. How I got frustrated with him, not chipping in finically and how jealous I was of him for being home all day pretty much do whatever he liked while I work and hating my job. I've learned a few things about myself from these last few weeks. I'm not perfect, nor should I be. And I need to truly let go of my past. My regret, and my self pity attitude.
I look at my patients whom I help care for and I sometimes hear the troubles and hardships they went through or are currently going through. They do a lot of the same things I was doing. Blaming others, or hating the world for not taking care of them and wanting everything and not working for it. (Real Imperial Order types) ha ; inside joke.
The truth is, I should be thankful for what I have and proud of what I've been able to do on my own. maintain a car, maintain a household. I am thankful for tony taking care of the things I don't do; like cleaning and keeping things organized. And I'm proud that he's an honorable person. I will admit that sometimes I've felt cast aside because of his personal issues he's going through and I do still feel a bit sad about him not wanting to marry me. But I'm learning to live with it. I've had to take a hard look at myself and ask the question what do I want from myself.
so, I've decided to set some new goals for myself for the year.
my first goal is:
Rebuild Friendships.
Goal # 2
Rebuild myself emotionally- letting go of my past mistakes and fears that haunt me.
I'm just starting with two so far. I'm not going to overwhelm myself like I always do; expecting myself to become a new man overnight.
I look at my patients whom I help care for and I sometimes hear the troubles and hardships they went through or are currently going through. They do a lot of the same things I was doing. Blaming others, or hating the world for not taking care of them and wanting everything and not working for it. (Real Imperial Order types) ha ; inside joke.
The truth is, I should be thankful for what I have and proud of what I've been able to do on my own. maintain a car, maintain a household. I am thankful for tony taking care of the things I don't do; like cleaning and keeping things organized. And I'm proud that he's an honorable person. I will admit that sometimes I've felt cast aside because of his personal issues he's going through and I do still feel a bit sad about him not wanting to marry me. But I'm learning to live with it. I've had to take a hard look at myself and ask the question what do I want from myself.
so, I've decided to set some new goals for myself for the year.
my first goal is:
Rebuild Friendships.
Goal # 2
Rebuild myself emotionally- letting go of my past mistakes and fears that haunt me.
I'm just starting with two so far. I'm not going to overwhelm myself like I always do; expecting myself to become a new man overnight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)