My birthday is in less then an hour.. I should feel happy, excited, renewed.. But im not.. Instead I feel.. Blah, like I'm running on fumes, my hearts been torn a little by disappointment.. I'm better now.. But still.. I kind of feel half alive.. And my place of work.. Isn't really the right environment to be in when yiur starting to feel let down and depressed about your future.. Even though I'm not Mr money bags.. There have been plenty of birthdays.. Where money was never an issue for going out and having a good time.. Even staying in with friends and having a good time.. But still.. Even that feels more like a chore then exciting.. I feel as if I've lost some part of myself.. That I'm struggling to get back.. But don't know how or when I really lost it.. I'm not excited about life.. The only thing keeping me going was my relationship and my engagement to my boyfriend.. But now he's had second thoughts and hes trying to find himself. I don't Now what or where I should Start
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